Today is the second run in week 1 of 18 weeks of marathon training. The marathon is in Newport this Fall, October 17th. I am trying not to get too psyched up about it. I am trying to live in the moment. I am trying to be patient with myself and accept each phase of my training. I am trying to accept the fact that I am a fit person who is training for a marathon. Without laughing.

Although I have done some running since the half, I haven't done much. The focus has been on cycling - preparing for Tour de Cure - and work. And Zoë. And before you know it, Tour de Cure is done, Zoë is in the last week of Junior Year of High School, Tom and I have been married four years, and I am training for a marathon. Blink.

My father's dimentia progresses and my Mom claims frustration and disappointment daily. I know how hard it is on her. It is exasperating for me because I feel quite helpless.

So I train.

We're going to Montana. Well, I am. Tom can't go, he's in school. Zoë will be in pre-college. I love and am proud of them both and am actually looking forward to a week vacation where I can be ANDY again, and not be the cruise director / concerned wife (are you having a good time? Is my family driving you nuts?) or mom. I just get to be me. Daughter, sister. That's role enough for me. And each day I can wake in my own bed and meet the dawn and start the coffee and go out for a run and pretend I am in an alternate universe.

Not that this one is bad.

But it's fun to vacate. That's what vacation is all about.

And I will train.

Hopefully, by then I will believe I am an athlete, training for a marathon.